Rick Snyder Likes It Longer, Harder, Faster and Cut

Michigan Gov. Rick Snyder confirmed Tuesday that he wants to impose a merit pay system for teachers. The Detroit News suggested that his goal was to reward excellent teachers to keep them in the classroom, rather than seeing them move into higher-paid jobs in school administration. Since few teachers successfully move into administration, Snyder either has a very delusional sense of this “problem” or he believes there are very few “excellent” teachers who deserve merit raises.

Considering that he plans on slashing K-12 funding by $470 per student, there will be a lot less money available to pay teachers. Therefore, when he talks about “merit pay,” what he is really talking about is pay cuts for the majority of teachers, and salary stability for “excellent” teachers. However, excellent teachers will have to become much more excellent to keep their meager wages. The budget cuts will make it much more difficult for all teachers to do a good job, and will result in many teachers spending even more than they already do out of pocket to purchase supplies and putting in even longer hours to help their struggling students.

Snyder implied as much, claiming that despite the “huge” amount of resources going into education, it is not achieving the needed results. Therefore, he wants teachers to work longer, harder and faster. He hinted at a longer school year and cuts to summer vacation. He also suggested more online learning, which will result in cuts to teaching jobs.

Apparently, Snyder also has a car fetish, saying he wants more “dashboards” to measure school performance, or perhaps this is just how Michigan politicians talk. Showing his hip safe sex side, he implied that charter schools be capped (ostensibly to keep them from spreading STDs to traditional public schools), but in sign of mercy he suggested that the cap be raised so that they can swell and engorge without turning blue.